Celebrating Spring, and an (apparent) goodbye to a dedicated life of procrastination
“Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here Life is skittles and life is beer I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring I do, don’t you? ‘Course you do”
- Tom Lehrer
As Spring bursts upon us and the days become longer, I take a look at my career and procrastination, and dedicate myself to change, finally, after several decades. That is to say, there is a place for idling, but there is also an important place for doing. It’s a balance and in this post we explore its importance and how I’m going forward with this new goal.
Spring touches its pretty little wand on the Earth, and sky, and, suddenly, like a snap of the fingers (or the startling sound of the approaching ice cream van) a thriving transformation is taking place. Memories of the dark and sullen grey chill of winter are suddenly forgotten, or at least readily let go.
The birds are chirping, the trees have visible buds, and the bunnies are scuttling along the grassy knolls. Easter pastels are in bloom at the local garden centre in the form of crocuses, white narcissi, and decorative foil-wrapped chocolate Easter eggs.
I walk through the garden centre, peruse the plants and knick-knacks, and move towards the cafe, sometimes wearing muddy wellies, sometimes in my slippers. Sometimes I have a coffee, but most often I go for breakfast with my partner. And sometimes I have a semi-guilty-but-delicious piece of cheesecake.
When it’s warm and sunny, we sit outside and enjoy the fixed, flower- and tree-filled view of our village. When it’s not, we battle with the retired masses for the best window seats inside the cafe, people watch and read the paper, against the tinny, echoey din - the raucous sound of young families and retired folk catching up, reminiscing, or playing while having a bite.
This is a charmed life; a life that has been decades in the making, with much sacrifice and painful moments. But we’re here now, and we’re never going back. We’re going forward with momentum, enthusiasm, focus, and clarity. This is a gift that we count our blessings for every day.
When times have been tough, I have languished between despair, mild depression, fatigue, restlessness and fear. When times have seemed rolling, there’ve been highs beyond highs, followed by lows, and then highs again. Fun times, and in those days when eating out was actually affordable, even as a student, we lived it large.
Now, we are more moderate. More stable, more dependable. More likely to ideate, create, and execute. Sticking to things and projects, as opposed to all of the other distractions I could easily, readily, and keenly give way to.
The distractions and potential both pop up from second to second - the ability and possibility of checking my email, checking social media, looking at online shopping, triple-checking my bank balance - all of these repetitive, useless tasks that amount to very little compared to committing to, settling down and actually doing, I am desperately fighting against. I’m going to eat some biscuits. Then I need water to wash it all down. Tea or coffee takes a few minutes, but which one should I have? I deliberate and make such important choices. Then I moisturise my hands. There’s a need to refill the water glass. Then I choke on some water and need to calm down after that debacle.
And so it repeats, over and over again. Then suddenly, in the way that it always happens, it’s time to go. The working day has passed its precious, hopeful hours, and it’s time to eat, drink, be merry and then (often right afterwards, for me, the early-to-bed, early-to-rise type), go to sleep. Pass out, wake up, repeat again.
Hours, days, weeks go by. Months, years, decades go by. So-called brilliant ideas, full of potential and, at times, an almost divine inspiration, pile up in a corner, a shell of what could have been, collecting dust while I order more useless trinkets online.
Does this repetitive pattern seem familiar to you? Do you feel that although you fill up the day, it doesn’t seem to be taking you where you want to go? Do you have ‘itchy fingers’ that need to flip between apps and check multiple apps, multiple times a day, with no useful end?
The ultimate procrastinator is on a mission to be consistent and regular with her work and week. If I can do it, then anyone can. More tales to come; see you then!
